That describes me right about now. See I can do nothing but cry!!! Tonight is the last night my baby will be 8. I don't know why, but that really has the waterworks flowing tonight. We sat in the rocking chair and I read "Love you Forever" and sang like I used to do when Blake was a baby. This really started the tears.
The tears are tears of gratitude for how awesome God is and how thankful I am. Blake has been nothing but a blessing ever since he entered this world. He really was the perfect baby and has always been just a model child. How did I get so lucky!!
The tears are also tears of hurt and grief. This is the first birthday for Blake without my daddy. We looked back at old pictures tonight and there were all these pictures with Daddy and Blake. My daddy loved a baby bout as much as I do and he especially loved Blake. I really hate he won't be here to celebrate another birthday.
The tears are also tears of being scared. I'm not sure if that is the right word. However, I am sad to realize that my baby is half way to leaving me. We always tease that when they turn 18 we are sending them packing, but tonight I just want to say, "No stay forever." What will I ever do without all my babies with me.
I will dry up these tears and put on my big girl panties and celebrate with my boy tomorrow. I hope to be able to post some pics tomorrow.