So this post is really more so I can put my thoughts to words, but for those interested this is our story. In Feb. of 2004 some very good friends of mine brought home their little China baby, Josie-Tatum. This really started me thinking about adoption and I felt a desire to do this. Jim however, did not feel the same desire. I begged and pleaded but he was firm about no. Then Steven Curtis Chapman came to Atlanta in the fall of 04 and we got tickets. I then bid on backstage passes and paid a great amount to get Jim back to meet him. All this in hopes that the concert and meeting him would spark interest in my husband. No such luck.
So by now, I have stepped up my efforts and I think that if we go to visit these orphans he will surely be moved. So we prepare for a two week mission trip with Buckner to China during the summer of 2005. Jim still seemed so unmovable. I was like, how in the world can he not feel some compassion for these kids like I do. So after all of these efforts I give up begging him and I begin to beg God. I literally cried out to God to please take away the desire or change Jim's heart. I vividly recall one night going into our closet and falling on my face and crying praying for God to move in this situation. Still there was no answer.
I let things cool for a while so as not to annoy my husband, but continue to pray for a child. Then in April of 2006 we move into a new house and I am busy preparing this house into a home. By the fall of that year I am again searching the internet on adoption and looking at waiting children. In Nov. Lifeway published a list of christian adoption agencies and I checked them out. I found Dillon International and requested a password to their VN program (really the only one we qualified for) There I found this cute little boy in a Santa hat. I showed his picture to Jim and said "Awe isn't he cute." Jim's response was "Yeah they are all cute." Still I longed for this little boy. I would check each day to be sure his picture was still up.
Christmas rolled around and the holidays were great. But then came the melt down. It was Christmas night and I was out on the porch just sobbing. Jim came out to see what was wrong. I simply bawled as I told him how empty my heart was and how I ached for another child. I knew he didn't understand, but I continued. I told him how other people my age were just having children and here I was finished. I wanted more kids, but I knew it was hard for him.
That night I fell asleep on the couch from crying so much. The next morning I woke up and Jim asked did I get my present from the tree. I looked and there was a letter he had written to me basically saying he was putting his trust in the Lord and we could begin the adoption process. I was thrilled beyond belief! I immediately began the process but did not rest easy until our first money had been sent off.
Now, let me interject some things that happened while all this was going on, but we didn't know about. When my friends came home from China, Samuel was just being conceived. Shortly after the SCC concert, Samuel was born. God didn't answer my plea because VN was closed. In 2006 when we bought our house, Dillon was again able to complete adoptions in VN. God knew we needed a bigger house in order to adopt. Our old house would not have been big enough. And it was Christmas before He changed Jim's heart because that is when we celebrate the birth of His son.
It is so amazing to me to look back and see God's hand in this adoption. This is just the big stuff. There were so many times along the way that the only way to explain something was God. All that time I thought God was not answering my prayers, He was. I just didn't hear Him say "wait." His timing is perfect and I would not trade this little boy for anything. The funny thing is that after we were home for a couple of months Samuel came running in the dining room, gave a grin and jetted out and Jim looked at me and said "Why didn't we do this sooner." ?!?!?!
God knew we needed to wait! Blessings.