Reflections...

Last night I sat down and began working on adoption grant applications.  As part of one application I had to explain what led us to adoption.  I began writing the story of how God led us to Samuel.  Then I began thinking of our journey to Sarah Joy and I began reading through some old blog posts.  I went all the way back to January of 2011 and reread what I had written.  I was in awe of God!!

As you can see here, I was heartbroken about not being able to adopt at that time.  Jim and I were not in a good place financially and it was not even possible.  Yet God spoke to my heart and assured me He had everything under control.  I was still upset, but I had to cling to God's word and trust that He would follow through.

Now, two years later God is fulfilling His promise.  We are in the process to bring home our sweet daughter.  God's timing is so perfect and many times is not understood until after the fact.  That is the case here.  You see, while I was heartbroken over not being able to adopt God was working "behind the scenes" so to speak.  Just the day before that post a child was being transferred to the care of an orphanage.  This darling child is our daughter.

I lay in bed and wept last night as I thought of the faithfulness of God.  From the first time He planted the seed of adoption in 2004 until now I have failed so many times, yet God still loves me and grants me grace.  He still fills the desire of my heart to have more children.  When we were going through trials and I felt almost abandoned by God, He was working on my behalf.  I was humbled and grateful to God for all of his gifts, even the trials.

My scripture today: Psalm 19:14  "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."   May all I do be pleasing to Him!!